We have ventured into a little poetry, though as usual we allow ourselves to be inspired by other people’s work

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Seven Ages to Not Beg Pardon

For him the world’s a stage,
And every man and woman just a token
They have their exits and their entrances;
It matters not how many may be broken.

His acts being seven ages. Let’s start at Eton,
Wrecking the play, ad-libbing what not learned,
And then the lazy writer, with his pieces
Of scribb’ling whining base, payment not earned
As creepingly he lied. And then the Mayor,
Hanging by knackers, with his two-fold flags
Over his governed city, as when he claimed
Water-cannons, buses, bridges, in the bag.

Then to MP, a Tory for his pains.
He joined and seemed as loyal to the herds,
And yet his lies more lucrative in print,
The pay not matching riches for his words.

Then to decide – a toss-up which was best,
A great defeat as Leaving Lead he planned.
And so he played his part, but sadly won.
The flames of Brexit now were truly fanned.

Then as the Sec., of Foreign parts aware.
For best Secs, check your briefs, for what you missed.
But times he rose up badly unprepared;
Zagari-Ratcliffe sits at head of list.

Last scene of all – that ends the British age
Of sense, integrity and due respect,
Is PM’s childishness – is he oblivious?
By No-Deal Brexit, Covid bug we’re wrecked.

More Shakespeare

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We have considered how some of Shakepeare’s plays would be in lockdown

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TAMING OF THE SHREW

ACT 1. A room in Katherine’s house
and a room in Petruchio’s house

Enter KATHERINE and PETRUCHIO to their respective rooms

Alarums and errors

KATHERINE

Why Sir, I trust I may have leave to speak,
Even to the utmost, though I need a leak.

PETRUCHIO

Her lips doth move, her hand raise in salute
And yet there’s naught I hear – she is on mute.
Curtain

THE TEMPEST

ACT 1. On a ship at sea, whereat GONZALO and MARINERS, and at the shore, whereat PROSPERO and MIRANDA

GONZALO

While wills above be done, let death be dry.
What is that land which from our ship is seen?
PROSPERO (to Miranda)

The waters wild I made, and you know why;
If they land here, they’re stuck in quarantine.

The End



OTHELLO

ACT 1. In OTHELLO’S Chamber.
Enter OTHELLO, apparently alone.

OTHELLO
There’s none allowed in here, of that I’m certain.
And so I plunge my knife right through the curtain

To check we’re clear – oh, see, my dagger slid
And sliced through cloth and this chap who was hid.

Curtain (another one)

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

I clicked the mouse and hoped to have a greeting.
Has organiser failed to launch the meeting?

KING LEAR

ACT 1. In the offices of GONERIL, REGAN and CORDELIA

GONERIL

Which one of us can call? You know the rule.

REGAN

There’s only one allowed with that old fool.

CORDELIA

One daughter only meets within his bubble?

GONERIL

You go then, sis, for us, he’s too much trouble.

Curtain

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